A picture of two Ho Ho's, one of them cut in halfSay, “I like myself” through actions not affirmations.

I have another pet peeve I have to air. I wonder if this S1stD thing that has liberated me to express all these beefs.

You’ve probably heard me talk about this before. Often. And even recently. I’m (trying to) finish up Brian Tracy’s “Eat That Frog” but it’s been slow going. It’s been so slow mostly because Tracy will say something sort of reasonable then he will piss me off again. I end up stopping the book and go back to enjoying Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, which by the way, is excellent!

Not all his advice is bad. But I think some of it is lazy and could cause more harm than good. Who knows, maybe that’s true with the advice I offer as well. I know that I am at least contently tweaking my methods and remaining mindful of their potential weaknesses. He spews with such authority that it’s as if he sees his wisdom to be a law of nature.  He’s certainly more popular than I am but a lot of dopes become quiet popular.

Eat That Frog does have some good suggestions in it. Even some long term take aways. None that come to mind off hand, but there are some things that are helpful. [add the bits I thought were good here]. Much was a little too thump your chest, lower your head and plow on through, just do it, kind of temporary motivation though. But sometimes it’s that little hit you need to take the next step. I’m good with that. Only know you might get juiced for a day then soon be looking around wondering where the chest thumping energy got away to. ANYWAY….

He say to go through your day saying, “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself.” Please don’t be doing that. IF you have to say “I like myself,” part of you does not like yourself. People who truly like themselves wouldn’t even think to say something like that. The gap between the truth of what you feel and what you are trying to feel is the black hole of affirmations that the “I like myself” people fall into. A spiraling down of bull shit that most often will only serve to make you feel more crummy. Don’t do it.

Help me work on this. let me see if I can articulate the alternative I would like you to try.

I know I would love for you to skip the affirmation and instead take your next action in the fashion of someone who likes themselves. You can do this by turning what you want…you want to like yourself in this case…into a question. What would a person who really likes themselves do for breakfast? I would ask the question that way instead of “what would I have for breakfast if I really liked myself” because you have no judgement of if you do or do not like yourself then. Does that make sense?

Once you ask the question, you think, “huh, they wouldn’t go into the gas station for the package of Hostess donuts. They would have had the time to scramble eggs with veggies or make a green smoothy for themselves. Or you might ask, “What can I do right now, with what I have? I can have an apple and peanut butter instead of the HoHo’s. Then hit the market on the way home today. That works. That’s self care, baby!

And I’m not suggesting you say, “I hate myself” or “I’m a dope and I stink.” That wouldn’t be helpful either. I DO have this suggestion and I think it’s better. Neener, neener. It’s action. It’s a question. How does someone who really like themselves act? What next action might they take in this situation I find myself in now?

ACTION! Action Jackson! It’s true that a thought comes before action when creating something you want. That’s why, I suppose, affirmations seeeeeems to make sense. But it’s just not the same thing. Act in ways that illustrates to you that you like yourself. Action come before feelings.

If you’re finding it hard to make choices to show yourself how much you like yourself consider this exercise.

Ask yourself, “what would be the next action I would take if someone I really liked and admired was in my house, making every move I made, going through my day with me, step by step. If, for example, you ate Cheese Curls and coffee for breakfast, His Holiness the Dali Lama would wash down Cheese Curls with a Starbucks too. Is that how you would feed him if it was bring a cool dude to work day? Would you cut someone off in traffic and flip them the bird if JC sat in the middle seat right next to you so he could better learn how to be you?

Take actions as if you had a distinguished guest in your home, and on your heals mirroring your every step. Your actions would be thought-filled, and probably much healthier. I suspect you would spend less time on FB and more on meaningful projects.

You may think that you’re changing your actions because someone of importance to you is around so it’s not really you. You’re just putting on a show. True dat. But you are putting on a show, which means you’re acting as if, which means you are taking actions that someone who likes themselves might take. Which means you might like the actions you take and how it feels good to take them. Which means you like how that feels. Which means you’ll do it again. Which means you’ll like the person you were today….

I’ve lost the thread here…Which means it’s probably time for the Dali Lama and I to hit the showers. I’ll want to come back and play with this post some more for sure. I guess the point I want to make is act in ways that someone who likes and honors themselves would act. The feeling will follow!

Oh my lord this is a big hot mess! Messssss++++

Do you see the things I do during my sloppy first speed draft? I go back to a thought, I rework a thought. And today I get lost too lost in a thought! But there it is. I have stuff to work with now. And this one makes me itch a little to show you but this was the promise I made when I started this page. To show you my noise.

Do you have any suggestions related to this topic as I build this argument?

Do you have a sloppy first draft to write?