Would you join me for an experiment? I’m making no guarantee the experiment will yield really cool results, but there is a chance it will. Unless, of course, you don’t do the experiment, in which case you’re guaranteed not to get any cool results.
Imagine the answer to the question I’m about to ask you being typed in the parchment colored box above.
The question I would like you to answer is, “what’s most important to you right now…right in this very moment, what is most important to you?”
Try to capture the very first answer that came into your mind. It doesn’t matter if your answer was sincere, snarky or utterly ridiculous. Simply see if you can grab hold of the first thought which came into your head. If you’re a visual thinker, try to imagine your answer written across the parchment paper. If your answer is lunch, like my husband’s answer was when I asked him, then imagine writing the words, “Lunch is most important to me right now”.
What about your answer has some truth in it?
See if you can set aside snark and/or judgment if either of those feelings come up and look closer still at what is true about your answer.
For example, Matthew’s answer was lunch. More specifically, he said he wanted me to bring him lunch. THAT is what he came up with for what was most important to him right now?! It would be pretty easy to dismiss his answer as irrelevant, wouldn’t it?
But don’t turn your back on your answer, even if it seems pretty ridiculous because it’s likely to mean a bit more than you think. Matthew’s love language, for example, is “acts of service” which means when I bring him lunch, he feels loved. Perhaps what he’s saying isn’t silly at all, perhaps he’s saying “what’s most important to me right now is feeling loved.” What could be more important than that? Now, I think I have some lunch to deliver.
What answer did you come up with for the experiment? The idea here was to see how something so simple can sometimes hit the nail right on the head. I wanted to encourage you, in as gentle a way as I could, to take what matters to you to heart. It seems to me what matters to you is always right there, skimming right below the surface of awareness. What do you think?